A Sandy Beach Almanac

You've landed at Sandy Beach, NSW, Australia: Lat. -30.15331, Long. 153.19960, UT +10:00 – local map & zoom Google map. I live in a cabin on this beach, 25 kilometres north of the traffic and shops of Coffs Harbour, 600 km north of Sydney. My intention is to post observations of Nature and life within 1 km (1,000 paces) of my South Pacific home.


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Saturday, January 15, 2005

You Know You're From Sydney When ...

You Know You're From Sydney When ...
(Author unknown)

You make over $100,000 AU and still can't afford a house.

You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it.

You order organic fruit and vegies online, but eat out every night anyway.

You spent more money on your coffee machine than on your washing machine.

You spend $200+ for your room in an apartment with stunning harbour/beachviews and European appliances; and then spend a total of 40 hours each week there (37 of which you are sleeping).

You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to park the car the night before.

You spend 30 minutes in a traffic jam next to a car with more power to its speakers than its wheels.

You know everyone's e-mail and mobile number but not their last name or home address.

You can roll sushi, make pasta and keep your red curry paste recipe under lock and key...but couldn't roast a chicken to save your life.

Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he moved to Australia.

Your co-worker tells you he/she has 8 body piercings but none are visible.

You can't remember....is dope illegal?

You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational Italian, French or building your own website.

A man in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps gets on the bus. You don't notice.

A woman with live poultry gets onto the bus. You don't notice.

You are genuinely surprised when you meet someone who was actually born in Sydney (but then, they are Swiss/Thai/Brazilian).

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is straight.... and your Avon Lady is a drag queen

You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.

You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.

Your boss runs in "The City to Surf"... it's the first time you have seen him/her nude.

You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the North Shore.

You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist.

You couldn't figure out how to drive to Sydney Tower if your life depended on it.

You meet friends for coffee at 1am at your local Netcafe / Laundramat /Bookstore / Bar / Alternative healing centre and go for drinks and pool at nine in the morning.

You go out each Saturday for breakfast and the paper...at 3pm.

Your shiatsu therapist is headhunted by an Internet Startup and your accountant becomes an actor.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Sydney.


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