Positions vacant: Sandy Beach parking police

Every two weeks or so I drive to beautiful Bellingen, a town about one hour south of here. I have close associations with 'Bello', and in many ways think of it as my home town. Each fortnight I record about 15 short radio programs based on the Book of Days.

Bellingen has changed greatly in the 32 years that I have been driving off the Pacific Highway and into the green valley. (I wrote a short piece called 'One Eye. One Arsehole. One Jim', about the changes and my reaction to them.) Among other things, the main street, Hyde Street, has gone from a road with a dog sleeping on it, to a parking nightmare.

I've also seen many changes to that sign that you see as you enter the town. Currently it reads 'Population 2,600'.

Population 2,600? Hmmmm ... That's a number that Sandy Beach will begin nudging quite quickly if a certain proposed 'development' occurs. So what does a population of 2,600 mean to a village that now boasts a telephone box and a general store the size of a living room?

Taking Bellingen as a yardstick, it means we'd probably need not just parking officers, but also a website like Bellingen.com, with just a few ads for local businesses and other things, such as:

Bliss Lodge
Blue Gum B&B (Bed and Breakfast)
CasaBelle Country Guesthouse
Fernbrook Lodge
Lily Pily Country House
Hyde 'n' Seek B&B
Maino Gabuna
Meriden Heights
Monticello Countryhouse
MossGrove B&B
Rivendell Guesthouse
Rose Patch B&B
Tallawalla Retreat B&B
Casey's Lane
Clouds End
Koompartoo Retreat
Kumbaingiri Retreat
Newry Island Retreat
Woodsong Forest Retreat
Aunty Lil's B&B
Bellinger River Family Cabins
Crystall Creek Farm Cottage
Fernridge Farm Cottage
Hungry Head Studios
Jelga Cottages
Lisnagarvey Cottage B&B
Mountside
Promised Land Cottages
Wyldefel Country Cottage
Bellingen Farmstay
Hyde Hill Cottage
Lisnagarvey Cottage B&B
Maddefords Cottages
Malibells Country Cottages
Marenga Chalet
Serendip River Retreat
Bellinger Valley Motor Inn
Bellingen YHA
Gracemere Grange
Ridgetop Hideaway
Affirmations Greeting Cards
Applied Vision
Banana Coast Credit Union
Bellingen Chamber of Commerce
Bellingen Florist
Bellinger Printing Services
Booma Boers Goat Stud
Buteyko Breathing
CD Celebrations
Country Moments
Ecohouse
Flower Essence
Full Moon Health Products
Future Eden
Hungry Head Studios
Kakadu Clothing
Kahn Design (Opals)
KidsBootz
Kiwi Downunder
Kombu Wholefoods
Light the Way
Moon Diary
No Bananas Indian Incense
Old Butter Factory
Opals 4 Sale
Personalised Children's CDs
Radio Supply
Rainforest Essentials
Sacred Space Essentials
Sandy Brennan Handmade Cards
Valley Kit Homes
Bailey Dixon Lawyers
Bellinger Valley Self
StorageCarl Foster's Garage
Enterprise Training Company
Fahey & Co Chartered Accountants
House of Photograpy
Kalang Mud Design Studio
Northbank Kitchens
Paul Tipper & Associates
Soilsmart Sustainable
Valley Tree Services
VideoMicParker
Wallaby Tracks Leather Footwear
The Coffee Cosy Co
Heartland Didgeridoos
The Honey Place
Planet Lighting
Realities Cold Cast Bronzes
Vintage Wiring Harness
Denwar Harps
Rose Gum Timber
Bellinger Instruments
Pressed Earth
Mountain Top Timbers
Luxury Bed Linens
Bellingen's Best Real Estate
Bellingenrealestate.net
Bob Hamilton Real Estate
Kirkland Real Estate Bellingen
LJ Hooker Real Estate
For Sale By Owner 20/20
Imagineering Computer Sales
Bellingen Internet Access
Technicality - PC Support
IDeliverIT-refurbished Laptops
Between Bytes - internet access
Harryproa & Marine Cad Services
Dynamic Web Solutions - web site design
Paul Forest - Search Engine Optimisation
Ever Living Images
ADNET
Hot Net
Country Energy
Internet TPG
Dodo Internet
Australia Job Search
JOBnet Byron
Employment Australia
New Generation Australia
Bellingen Canoe Adventures
Golf Club
Fairytale Horse-drawn Tours
Hinterland Tours
NSW National Parks
Flying Foxes of Bellinger Island
Dorrigo - Bellingen - Urunga Bicycle Users Group
Valery Trails
Horse Riding
Yoga, Pilates, Fitball, Aqua Fitness
Bellingen Fitness Centre ("the gym")
Bellingen Pool
Steam Railway Museum
NRMA on Waterfall Way
The Global Carnival
Stamping Ground
Bellingen Jazz & Blues Festival
Camp Creative
Anchors Wharf Cafe
Bare Nature
Cool Creek Cafe
The Carriageway Cafe
Lodge 241
The Boiling Billy
Old Butter Factory Cafe Rivers Restaurant
Cobblestones Restaurant No. 2
Oak Street Merlion Chinese Restaurant
Bellingen Valley Cinema
Sawtell First Avenue Cinema
2bbbfm
Wind Frequency Visitor
Information Centre
Bellingen Neighbourhood Centre
Bellingen Council
IFC's Temple of Divine Love
Homeland Community, Thora
Friends of the Rainforest
Flying Foxes of Bellinger Island
Bellingen Environment Centre
Save the Brumbies
Bellingen Shire Maps
Bellingen Library
Bellingen Agricultural Show
Bellingen Events Calendar
Bellingen Global Carnival
Bellingen Markets
Bellingen Playback Theatre
Stamping Ground
Biodynamic Wine Forum
Bellingen A.C.E.
B.E.S.T./ETC
Biodynamic Wine Forum
Chrysalis Steiner School
Internet Tutorials
On-line Tutorials
Camp Creative
Bellingen High School
AkaBella
Australian Gen Web
Seaboard Resource Centre
Bellingen Christian Life Centre
Bellingen Community Arts Council
Bellingen Art Prize
Nicholas Uhlmann Sculpture
Kryscina Merrett
Leigh Morgan
Laetitia's Art Works
Colin Thompson Books
Tallowood Band
Thorazoo (independent music)
Australia East Coast
Hinterland
B.E.C. site on Bellingen
Holidaycoast

Of course, we'd need two supermarkets and some of the other businesses not mentioned above, like Bellingen's Federal Hotel and its bottle shop, and the Bellingen bottle shop a few doors up Hyde St. With that many residents you can't really expect people to drive to Woolgoolga for a cleansing ale, not to mention the tourists and people visiting their friends who have moved here for the quiet pace of life and Nature relatively unspoiled by humans. And don't we know how tourists, guests and backpackers love to party!

Any dogs sleeping on the road at Sandy Beach would be advised to seek out new quarters. Come to think of it, it might be an idea to keep the kids indoors as well. Fortunately, Bellingen also has a police station and I'm sure the government would put one here too, and if they don't, we could petition them when the inevitable crime starts.